I am a deaf mama. I was born with severe to profound sensorineural hearing loss. My mom met the right people and made the decision to lead me on a path of verbal auditory training at a very young age. Although I tried to reach out within the deaf community to connect and make friends, my peers were uncomfortable around...
Early Postpartum
My Newborn Experience
The shock, confusion (did childbirth actually happen?) mixed with feelings of euphoria of having actually experienced childbirth is still fresh in my mind and even more surreal, having finally met my daughter for the first time after ten months. Not having slept for more than a 24-hour period is also very apparent as I yawn. I will never forget the...
The Unseen Work
The Unseen Work Decide how to feed What to feed When to feed Keep inventory of Diapers Wipes Clothing Formula Medicine Food Troubleshoot Nipple size Diaper size Bottle type Laundry soap Toys Keep the right size clothes and diapers in diaper bags Schedule and take child(ren) to doctors Be able to answer any and all of their questions (what color...
Nursing
19.5 months.We worked so hard to get here.Plugged ducts.Low supply.Lip tie.Tongue tie.Misdiagnoses.Surgeries performed multiple times due to regrowth and incorrect revisions done the first time.Craniosacral therapy.Chiropractic care.Speech therapy.Nursing strikes. Social pressure to stop nursing.Countless hours spent in research reading evidence based literature on breastfeeding, latch, and ties.Time spent advocating for myself. I fed you cross country as we moved from Arizona to...
My Shower
My Shower A year and a half in, I often feel far away from who I emerged as after giving birth - that confident, calm, focused person, born anew. The mornings can be stressful, even though we have nowhere to be. Cooking and young, active toddlers don’t really mix. But then I take a shower. I can close my eyes...
Untitled 2
There’s milk and a sweet smell. The bed sheets, mangled. The bed is gravity—I slink toward it, whether I want to or not. I live in a body I do not know. A lot of people never bounce back. I went through a big thing but no one wants to hear about it. It’s too hot and I’m not used...
Promoted to Full Time Mom
About to be promoted…. To full time stay at home mom. We’ve been lucky- she’s almost 7 months old and my husband has been home the whole time. He quit his job in December 2019 because his boss was a jackass. Then IVF happened. Then COVID-19 happened. Then (thank god) pregnancy happened. Then baby happened. So here we are, nearly...
Untitled 1
I hate these short dark days of unyielding winter Postpartum (postmortem) body (self) in various states of decay My life force escaping out of every pore every orifice All the pads soaking me up Little fish mouth eating me up There’s a long night ahead met by a cold morning My breath hangs in the air cumulous There would be...