A few days ago I updated my bio to say I’m the mother of 3. My youngest is 3 months old now and my oldest is 5, soon to be 6. I’ve been breastfeeding for almost 6 years straight, with a 3 month break when my oldest weaned at 20 months and his sister didn’t arrive for 3 more months....
Parenting
Raw Thoughts and Feelings from a Deaf Mama
I am a deaf mama. I was born with severe to profound sensorineural hearing loss. My mom met the right people and made the decision to lead me on a path of verbal auditory training at a very young age. Although I tried to reach out within the deaf community to connect and make friends, my peers were uncomfortable around...
Last Week Was Too Much
Too much for my city. Too much for mothers. It's been national news, you probably already know about the young mother of two boys who was brutally slain in Memphis, TN. To say that the loss of Liza has had a profound impact on Memphis, is saying the very least. To say that it has hurt every mother I know...
The Waiting Room
We’re in the car, and Jonah is asking me for our “old playlist,” as he calls it. There’s a shared, almost secret language that exists when you have a child where they talk about and ask for things and only you and your small circle know what they’re talking about. Imaginary friends, certain songs, the way they like their food...
The Minutes Before Waking
Written 7/18/22 There was a stretch of five minutes this morning where I didn’t know yet that I had a body. I didn’t feel or think anything yet. I didn’t yet call into consciousness that I’ve been lying in bed with horrible COVID symptoms for the last however many days (what day is it?) or that my husband had it...
Children's Books Are Not Just for Children
Recently my four year old son has begun expressing his negative emotions in ways that are different from his younger, toddler self. The tantrums and tears are fewer these days, and in their place are verbal expressions of his frustrations (“I can’t do it!” and “I’ll never do it!”), threatening to throw and kick things, and the occasional follow through...
It's Not Your Fault, Mama
It’s not your fault, Mama.It’s not your fault she doesn’t want to eat chicken tonight. Even though you’re not sure if youmanaged to buy the same kind this week.You’re not doing anything wrong- some babies take a long time to walk. Just because there arethings they suggest to get them walking doesn’t mean it’s your fault that those things aren’tworking.You...
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The love a mother has with her child is vulnerable In no other relationship will someone know you from the guts In no other love will they touch the ugliness of you and still call it home
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The ocean in me swells with a warning: It’s the salt that alters fresh water to brine. (His salt). I once grew a blooming reef and sheltered a tiny, silvery fish ‘til she was ready to slip through the coral archway. She took the reef with her. It’s okay, I tell myself. I like feeling still. Too much salt kills....
This Love.
This love. It crushes me. And lifts me up. It keeps me going and stops me in my tracks. It pushes me forward and holds me back. This love. It’s vast and endless and relentless and beautiful and sad. It shows me my deepest fears and darkness and lights up all my brightness. This love. It exposes who I am....