Looking in the mirror, at myself in the reflection, And I can’t help but feel grateful. My body has given me so many gifts, in just 38 short years. Movement, This body has taken me to mountain tops, swimming, climbing, hiking, walking and dancing. Strength, These arms have held and comforted fussy toddlers. These thick thighs, and strong muscles, have...
Joy, Rage & Grief
Raw Thoughts and Feelings from a Deaf Mama
I am a deaf mama. I was born with severe to profound sensorineural hearing loss. My mom met the right people and made the decision to lead me on a path of verbal auditory training at a very young age. Although I tried to reach out within the deaf community to connect and make friends, my peers were uncomfortable around...
Last Week Was Too Much
Too much for my city. Too much for mothers. It's been national news, you probably already know about the young mother of two boys who was brutally slain in Memphis, TN. To say that the loss of Liza has had a profound impact on Memphis, is saying the very least. To say that it has hurt every mother I know...
The Waiting Room
We’re in the car, and Jonah is asking me for our “old playlist,” as he calls it. There’s a shared, almost secret language that exists when you have a child where they talk about and ask for things and only you and your small circle know what they’re talking about. Imaginary friends, certain songs, the way they like their food...
First Day of Kindergarten Drop Off
Today is the day that all parents envision, when they bring their little’s into this world. A day that felt so far away and is already here. I have to be honest, this day came so much faster than I could have ever imagined. Seems like just yesterday, I was comforting the parents of my Kindergarten students, giving them courage,...
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.
As I find myself in the very last weeks of my third pregnancy, I am getting to this weird stage of excitement/fear/laziness/motivation. I feel tired yet I have million things on my mind. I feel full of energy to order, replace, and redecorate every single thing in our apartment, yet after an hour of restless cleaning up, I usually give...
My Newborn Experience
The shock, confusion (did childbirth actually happen?) mixed with feelings of euphoria of having actually experienced childbirth is still fresh in my mind and even more surreal, having finally met my daughter for the first time after ten months. Not having slept for more than a 24-hour period is also very apparent as I yawn. I will never forget the...
The Birth of Diana
Fall is my favorite season. The crisp air of the morning - fifteen minutes before the sun comes up, the aromas of cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove that waft around a warm house, the brilliant oranges, yellows, and reds of foliage that signify the changing of seasons; all of it is exciting. Halloween is my favorite holiday, a time where I...
The Minutes Before Waking
Written 7/18/22 There was a stretch of five minutes this morning where I didn’t know yet that I had a body. I didn’t feel or think anything yet. I didn’t yet call into consciousness that I’ve been lying in bed with horrible COVID symptoms for the last however many days (what day is it?) or that my husband had it...
To The Baby That I Miscarried
To the baby that I miscarried, The love that I have for you is equal, To the love that I have for my Earthly children. I love you unconditionally, and think of you often. While I often wonder why, and I know that probably won’t ever subside. I want to share my heart with you, my love. At the time...