To the baby that I miscarried,
The love that I have for you is equal,
To the love that I have for my Earthly children.
I love you unconditionally, and think of you often.
While I often wonder why, and I know that probably won’t ever subside.
I want to share my heart with you, my love.
At the time we lost you, your big sister Nev had just turned two. We had her birthday party at the zoo! She was still a bit too young to understand something so new, like you. We were excited, over the moon, to complete our family with YOU. And after 9 short weeks we lost you. But your short life here, left a lasting impression on all of our hearts, especially mine.
There was an everlasting pain,
that never went away,
that day at the hospital.
An ache so deep,
beyond any physical pain.
A loss is a loss,
That never goes away.
A hole in my heart,
A wound that cut so deep.
How could I ever go on?
I’m not sure why you were chosen to forever be my light from above. But now I see, my heavenly baby, all that you have taught me. YOU are forever in my heart, a space where I will endlessly hold you. And your spirit lives on, deep within my soul. And although I cannot physically see you or hold you. I feel your strength, presence, and warmth from up above. You chose me, and my heart ached to lose you, and still does. After a lot of thought and some time passing by, now I see.
You are all around me, and forever with me.
You are in the sunrise, the sunset, the flowers, and trees,
the sand between my toes, the butterflies, hummingbirds and bees.
All the things that keep my heart warm here on Earth,
make it apparent you are full of so much love and light.
Thank you for all the strength and resilience you have taught me.
Your big sister Nev, brings you up often. It’s important to keep your memory alive.
After all, we are forever family.
Your family is always here,
we all love you to the ends of the earth and beyond.
I have hope in my heart that someday I will meet you, and you provide hope that I have protection and love from up above. I pray often that you will continue to provide our family with protection and guidance from the stars and moon above. I’m the luckiest to be your mama, and I look forward to the day when we meet again. But until then, I will love you and think of you often. You have reminded me what a precious gift this life is. Thank you my heavenly child, you will forever be my angel, my heart, and my everlasting love.
With Love,
Your forever Mama
Photography by Mathew Schwartz
