Stella's pregnancy was a combination of my first two. I was really sick the first trimester then felt pretty good the second and really good the last trimester. It just kept getting better. I had just finished my first module at the Artemis School, ending with the full moon on the Summer Solstice and was on a total high from...
Joy, Rage & Grief
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I hate these short dark days of unyielding winter Postpartum (postmortem) body (self) in various states of decay My life force escaping out of every pore every orifice All the pads soaking me up Little fish mouth eating me up There’s a long night ahead met by a cold morning My breath hangs in the air cumulous There would be...
Sleep
You just fell asleep in my arms nursing while I read you one of my favorite books - Wherever You Go My Love Will Find You by Nancy Tillman. Your eyelids got heavy, and you closed your eyes as I read this passage: In the green of the grass...in the smell of the sea...in the clouds floating by...at the top...
Stupid Comments
From the woman I haven’t seen since before the pandemic: “I didn’t even know you had a baby!!! How’s it going? Got it all figured out? Ready for another one?” From the dude I hadn’t seen since the pandemic ended: “Ah another pandemic baby! Nothing to do at home during covid other than that, huh?” From the slightly more informed...
Leonardo's Birth Story
Let me start by saying how fantastic my pregnancy was. I never got sick and was able to stay very active up until the very end. I LOVED being pregnant. I did not have any health insurance at the time though, so we looked for options outside of the mainstream hospital birth. I was quite sure I wanted to have a...
The Daughter I Didn't Have
Before I moved out of my parent’s house and into my first home with my new husband, I carefully wrapped my beloved Chatty Cathy doll, my Poor Pitiful Pearl doll, and an assortment of Barbie and Ken dolls in a protective layer of tissue paper, then placed them inside a sturdy box which I promptly sealed shut with packing tape. The...
Limitless
“So the stars really go on forever?” “That’s what appears to be true, at least that’s all we know at this point. The universe just keeps growing.” “And numbers also go forever. I used to think I could only count up to 100. But now I know I could count forever.” “Yes, baby, that’s also true.” “Well that’s how I...
She's Moving Out
The boxes are packed, they sit in the hallway waiting to be put into the moving truck to take my Bean off to college. I feel so good. I have been waiting for the day when she could fly from the nest and courageously live her life. I am so excited for her and so very proud of her and what it...
All of It
Enlightening because I was able to accomplish so much while she played contentedly ALONE for like almost 2 hours. Like seriously. I made mini muffins - she was fine; I cleaned the kitchen - she was fine. I did a load of laundry - fine. I decided to just clean sinks, fine, so I cleaned bathroom and shower, fine, toilet...
A Mother's Reflections on her Daughter's First Birthday
Skylar Let me paint a picture for you of my daughter. To see Skylar is to see the biggest, glittery eyes you have ever seen. They are love marbles. They light up constantly, especially when my son is around. And during breakfast. She has light brown hair that is starting to curl around her ears and at the nape of...