The year I was pregnant with Basia was one of the defining years of my life. The pregnancy was challenging, nothing like my first pregnancy with Leonardo. I had horrible morning (see: all day long) sickness that lasted through the entire pregnancy, horrible insomnia, and painful varicose veins from the pelvic floor down. Everyone said I was going to have a girl since I was so sick. Leonardo also was sure it was a girl as well. Every time someone asked if it was a boy or a girl he would say it was his hermanita. It definitely was a very “feminine” year, so many emotions! I think I cried more than all other years of my life combined. I was awakening to what being a woman was and finding my circle of sisters. I also felt like this was all coming up because I maybe was having a daughter, like I had to figure it out for myself first so I could then be an example for her. Once I knew the path I was on, I was able to step right into it and it was a year of enormous growth and transformation. I believe that Basia is and will always be one of my greatest teachers, the one who guides me to and reveals the truth.
As I got closer to my EDD I worked hard trying to organize my life, our house, and everything for the upcoming holidays before Thanksgiving. Leo was born 10 days “early” so I knew I may deliver “early” again. We planned my mother’s blessing just before 38 weeks on the new moon and as the sun moved into Sagittarius. I was really happy that the baby would be a Sagittarius, like me. I just kept telling baby to stay in until December; if we could make it to December I would be ready.
Saturday night, November 29/30, a storm blew in and I woke up several times that night with some cramping. It poured all day Sunday but we decided to go get our Christmas tree anyway as we had planned. Deep down I knew that if we didn’t go, we would never get to go. All day the cramps continued. It was very similar to how Leonardo’s birth started but I did not want to jinx it since the cramping could go on for days, so I did not say much. I remember walking up and down the hills of the Christmas tree farm looking for the perfect tree, drenched in rain, but so happy. It felt so good to be walking on the rain soaked earth. We went to my parents house for Sunday dinner as usual and I casually mentioned I had been cramping all day but left it at that. We went home after dinner, got Leo to bed, and Steve went into work. I worked at my computer some, paid some bills, and started to pack things up to take to my parents house. I called our midwife, Yelena, around 9pm to let her know I had been cramping all day but that I was going to try and get some rest. The cramps were definitely getting stronger. After I had everything packed up, I got into bed and tried to rest in bed. The cramps were getting stronger and I felt like I had to hum or make sounds as I breathed through them so I got out of bed since I did not want to wake Leo. Steve came home around 12:30am and I told him that I thought it was time, maybe, but that I wanted to try and sleep but I felt like I needed to go to my parents house. He helped me take everything to the car and I went to my parents.
It was a beautiful night. The rain had stopped and the clouds had cleared and you could see so many stars. It was magical. As a contraction came I pulled to the side of the road to breathe it through. The next contraction came as I was pulling into the driveway, so the contractions were about 3 minutes apart, or less. I brought everything inside, going up and down their 15 + entry steps several times, and went to bed to try and rest. Laying there, I hummed and Aumed through the contractions, they were getting stronger. At around 1:30am I decided that it was really it and called Yelena. I went upstairs to wake my parents. I went up to my mom and said “mom” gently, trying to wake her. She woke up saying, “come on in, but maybe you want to come in the middle of the bed since the hard biomat is on my side”. She thought I wanted to get into bed with them! I said no, mom, the baby is coming, you need to get up, I am going to get in the tub. She and my dad quickly got up. I asked my Dad if he would go to our house to stay with Leo until he woke up. I called Steve to let him know my dad was coming and for him to come here.
Steve and Hope, the other midwife, arrived at the same time – probably around 1:50 or 2am. I was in the tub as everyone got everything together. My mom and I had a good laugh about her thinking I wanted to get into bed with them. I had set up my little altar, lit my birth candle, put on all my birthing jewelry and turned on my “sacred pregnancy” playlist. In the tub I started to feel like my feet and legs were tingling and vibrating, as if they were going numb. The vibrating spread through my whole body. I could even feel my cheeks vibrating. It felt like I was being taken over by a powerful energy. The vibrating kept getting stronger and I felt like I had to move so I got out of the tub, it was probably around 2:40am. Steve helped me walk around. We made out a bit in the bathroom. I moved from the toilet, to the counter, to the birth stool and back around again. I had a robe on but it got so hot in the room I had to take it off. I asked for ice to chew on. I kept moving around to the music. I really liked having music this time. On the birth stool I asked for warm compresses and it felt so good. I also asked to switch birth stools to the one I used to birth Leo, my mom’s head stand stool. As I bore down while on the stool my water broke and it felt so good. I started to really vocalize through the rushes. I could tell it was getting close. I was now pushing with the rushes while on the stool, then Steve would help me stand and move my hips around during the breaks. A couple times Yelena asked if I wanted to feel the head but I didn’t feel like I could let go of the stool. They both kept saying how well I was doing and reminding me to relax my jaw and shoulders and keep my chin down. They were so wonderful.
The last couple times I got up to move my hips it really made a difference and I knew the baby would come soon and I told everyone I was close. It felt so good to listen to my body. The last time I got up to move my hips I knew it was time, as I got back on the stool and pushed my mom said “It’s coming!!” in a shocked/excited voice and she started to take some pictures. I was pushing, but the midwives said to slow it down. So I stopped pushing and just let the baby and my body do it together. As I let go of trying to control and direct a vastness opened all around me. I felt her head come through and the cord was around her neck so Yelena and Hope worked to get it off and then she slid out. It was a surreal experience. I am sure the whole thing was just a few seconds in real time, but those last moments as I let the baby come through me felt like time had stopped. Every second was an eternity. I can’t really describe it. I was just feeling, not doing. It was incredible to feel Basia pass through me. Yelena passed her to me and I just held her. It was 3:35am. She didn’t cry, just a little whimper to say hello. Steve and I looked down to meet our baby, a baby girl!
Steve helped me walk to the bed. The placenta came quickly after, within minutes. I was kind of out of it. Basia and I bonded for a bit, both of us just being. She did not latch on right away. They checked me, no tearing, so relieved. After a while, Steve and Yelena cut the cord. We had forgotten to get the good paper for the placenta prints so we did not get to do them. Steve then held her a bit skin to skin. I was still kind of out of it and Yelena suggested I eat something. I think I was just so tired and still in “labor land”. After I ate something, I came back to real time. It was almost immediate. I got Basia back and she started nursing and I kept eating. After a bit we did the newborn check up. I got in the shower and we all got ready for bed. I think the midwives left around 6am. Yelena warned me about after pains. She said with the first baby you get the sore perineum but with all other subsequent births you get the after pains. And boy was she right. The after pains were quite intense but after a few days they were gone. We stayed as long as we could at my parent’s house for my postpartum healing but after about a week it seemed it would be better if Leo was at home. Looking back, I wish we would have just stayed longer at my parents and that I had prioritized my own healing. Overall it was a perfect birth and again, I am so grateful that this is my story. My wish is that every woman would have as much preparation and support as I have had as I made the rite of passage into motherhood.
