“Three in one Kids Shampoo/Conditioner/Body Wash”
“Children’s All Natural Scented Bubble Bath”
“Kids Watermelon Body Wash and Bubble Bath”
These are the words written across the bottle labels perched on our bathtub.
As I sat cross-legged on the semi-soaked floor-mat during bath time tonight, a feeling of longing and panic sank a hole deep in my chest; when did all of my “baby” products become “kids” products?
My eyes darted back to my two children. My almost 4-year-old son, driving his Paw Patrol bath boat precariously close to his 1.5-year-old sister who dumps yet another cup of soapy bath water into her mouth, a rebel smirk dancing across her lips as she makes eye contact with me.
Looking at these products I remember how I used to agonize over what “baby” soaps and lotions to buy. The gentlest formulations. Hypoallergenic. Pediatrician approved. Calming lavender oils and calendula extracts. All of them, smelling of new life. How the agony over those decisions seems so silly now, and also how much I miss the gravity of it all.
Motherhood is so fickle. Sometimes it feels entirely impossible to just live in the moment. If I’m not pleading for a certain infuriating phase to run its course, then I’m mourning the loss of a phase gone by. “Gosh I’m so excited, I can’t wait until he can walk!” quickly morphs into, “I wish we could go back to when they just sat still!”
My daughter’s past 1.5 years seems to have gone through warp speed. Although I recall enjoying her baby phase more than my first born’s, it felt extraordinarily brief.
When my oldest was a newborn baby, that fourth trimester felt like it stretched into a fifth trimester. All my attention, all my time, laser focused on him. A blessing and a source of constant anxiety.
My daughter’s first few months were like a blurry carousel—always in motion, up and down alongside her big brother but never in sync. One up and one down, around and around. A challenging, emotional, balancing act that I worried would never slow down. But, it did. It always does. And now looking back, I’d jump on that ride again in a heartbeat if I could. See? Fickle.
So here I am feeling annoyed at the water being splashed on the floor. Wondering when will my son finally learn spacial awareness? And when will she stop putting everything in her mouth? And I’m simultaneously heartbroken at just how quickly we’ve gotten here. My daughter’s baby bathtub is long gone now. My son’s tender teddy bear hooded towels are replaced by superhero masks.
And then I remind myself, these ARE still my babies, it’s just the labels have changed. And, they will change again, and again and again. At this moment I have a toddler and a preschooler. Right now I have Baby Shark Soap and Silly Strawberry Shampoo; and I’m going to take a big long whif, because they smell pretty darn good too.
